Dare2Diva is Grateful

I am quite horrible I have decided/realised. I have very little tolerance for anything or anyone and I have absolutely no filter when it comes to expressing my lack of tolerance. I am just horrible. Universe 1) I am grateful I was able to get a really good sleep in this morning and was able to stay in bed until 9:30 watching dvd's. 2) I am grateful I was able to catch up on my tv viewing. I realise I haven't watched any television this week apart from the morning news. 3) I am grateful my 13yr old niece came over today which gave me the motivation to get out of the house. 4) I am grateful for the additional wool I purchased today and even though I couldn't get the extra ball of the wool I wanted to finish my shawl, it looks like I will finish it off anyway without the additional ball. 5) I am grateful i was able to keep my brain and hands busy with knitting tonight. My brain really feels like it is on a slippery dip greased with butter going a hundred miles an hour a

Not a lot to say so here goes Universe 1) I am grateful today is Friday. Plain and simple. 2) I am grateful that I have a second car. My car wouldn't start this morning and I was really late so the other car was very much appreciated. 3) I am grateful I got to work at a good hour. 4) I am grateful for the weird, wonderful, and extremely inappropriate conversations my team minus brudy ridicurus woman have. They help to keep me entertained. 5) I am grateful all of my contracts are ready for our admin person to send on Monday. 6) I am grateful I didn't lose my temper with the cock headed numb nut that is acting as GM but not today. I had to get him to approve something which has been sitting with him for weeks now and he decides after the GGM has approved it that he won't approve it because there wasn't a negotiation strategy and now he wants me to change the whole engagement rules now that the project has finished before he will approve it. I think I have a way ar

I've made some headway today. Baby steps but still each one counts. I am also trying and somewhat succeeding keeping my exterior together whilst I implode. That keeps me in a job. This is a good thing. Universe 1) I am grateful for my morning drive into work. I am enjoying the time to myself listening to music and not having to deal with horrible traffic. 2) I am grateful that I made some enquiries into a little psych holiday today. All is looking positive. 3) I am grateful that the additional meeds have made it possible for me to keep a somewhat positive or shall we say 'exterior' even though I am walking on a knifes edge. 4) I am grateful I got out of the office today. It wasn't as cold today so I decided to walk to the shopping centre/mall and go for a short walk in there. 5) I ma grateful I had a good drive home today. The night run is usually chaos but today it was great. 6) I am grateful for a quote that was put up on Facebook by a page I belong to. '&

Straight into it today Universe 1) I am grateful I allowed myself a bit of a lazy morning considering the messed up disturbed sleep i had last night. Who needs tv when I have my dreams. 2) I am grateful I was able to drive to work rather than catch the train. It was so cold this morning. 3) I am grateful I worked out it was the peanut butter toast that made my coffee taste like liquorice rather than the barista. After getting the taste of peanut butter out of my mouth my coffee tasted fabulous. 4) I am grateful I took my lunch to work today so I didn't have to leave the office. It was so bloody cold and windy today. 5) I am grateful I had a productive night and now i am ready for bed. Blessings

I have had a few thoughts today. Well, a lot actually, but I don't want to entertain them so I shall go straight into todays entry. Universe 1) I am grateful I finally got to sleep last night and woke up reasonably well refreshed. 2) I am grateful I had another good run into work. 3) I am grateful for the amount of work I accomplished today. I was worried about a few things but I did those today which is great. 4) I am grateful for my lunch time walk and that I was able to pick up my new glasses a week earlier than expected. 5) I am grateful that I was able to avoid 3 accidents today nearly caused by idiot drivers 6) I am grateful I am home and about to tuck myself into my warm bed. It is really wet and cold outside tonight Blessings

I left home, filled my car with petrol/gas and drove to work all in 40mins which was a great way to start a Monday. I'm over complaining. It doesn't help. It just keeps feeding my brain so I will just get into todays entry. Universe 1) I am grateful for the easy and quick trip into work his morning 2) I am grateful that I got 2 variations, answered all emails and bought a coffee all in 2hrs. I was impressed. 3) I am grateful for my walk today and for the necklace I picked up with the voucher I won. It is awesome. A pocket watch with Alice in Wonderland on it hanging from a key with a little glass cork stopped bottle with a note saying drink me inside. It is just fabulous. I love it. 4) I am grateful for the 12 contracts I completed soft copy wise today. 5) I am grateful the headache that I had since yesterday hasn't turned into a full blown migraine. I have been able to keep t a dull throb with pain killers. 6) I am grateful to the people that said hello to me today

I have come to a big realisation. Everything that I am going through, everything that is and has happened is my fault. I am being punished for the horrible thoughts that I have, the trouble that I have caused, for not keeping my mouth shut, for my decisions in life. This is the consequence for all of that and I am not sure if I can ever make amends for everything.I have alienated most my friends and everyone of my close friends, which is a good thing, because it means I can't upset or hurt them anymore than I have. It is now my family that has had to put up with me, that I hurt and that is what I don't know how to deal with. I think by indulging in my own issues, that I am selfishly ignoring how I can make things up to my family. I can't make things up to my mum, but at least to the people still here. I just don't know what to do. This is what has been plaguing my thoughts today in particular. Yes, I know this blog is being monitored by high powers but I need to be acco