Dare2Diva is Grateful

Such a lazy day today and it was perfect. Cold and raining outside. I needed the rest and so I am glad it wasn't sunny outside. It would have been really difficult to rest in that weather. Universe 1) I am grateful that my pa's voice waking me at 4am was only a dream. I woke up because I heard my Pa calling my name and he only ever does that when he is sick or in extreme pain and that only means that things are bad. I got up out of bed yelling 'I'm coming, I'm coming' and opened the door expecting to see Pa and he wasn't there, his door was closed and my heart was pounding thinking that perhaps it was a dream to wake me up because he was dying. I opened his door and walked over to him and he was snoring his head off. Not sure why I would have that type of a dream but grateful it wasn't serious. 2) I am grateful I was able to get back to sleep ok, after my heart stopped pounding anyway. 3) I am grateful for the sleep in until 8:30 this morning. 4) I

The day didn't start so well, but it ended ok and now I have 4 days off which I desperately need. I just need to spend the next couple of days relaxing and then sorting out my house. I don't think my house has ever been so chaotic. I can't stand the mess. With my brain feeling out of control, I need order around me and so I need to create that. Universe 1) I am grateful that while I was on the verge of tears on the train this morning and wanting to break something, I managed to hold it together until I got off the train. Once I got off the crowded train and walked the long way to the office, I calmed down. 2) I am grateful I was able to step into my managers role and make decisions that I wasn't nervous about making. 3) I am grateful that the guys once again in the work station in front of me kept checking in on me to have a chat so I didn't feel alone. 4) I am grateful for the walk I had today. I needed a walk quite early so I took an early lunch break and he

I forgot to mention that yesterday was my 200th post! When I think about the tough times I have had this year and how being grateful has helped me focus on other things besides my own misery, I am amazed. Universe 1) I am grateful for today being my 201st post. That means I have had a minimum of 1005 things to be grateful for since I started this blog. 2) I am grateful that I have realised how much this helps my mental health. There are many days when I am down or angry where I just think I couldn't be bothered, what on earth do I have to be grateful for, but I still come on here and scrounge for something and I find at least 5 things. 3) I am grateful for the peace and quite at work today. I was the only one in my team. 4) I am grateful for the company of the 2 boys in the work stations in front of me. I could have been really bored if they weren't there. 5) I am grateful for the amazing comments, posts and conversations I have had with my facebook friends last night an

I had to go to a different office this morning to sort some things out which actually freaked me out. Not the sorting out but finding my way there. I have got to find a way to stop this. It is ridiculous. I have had a decent kind of day in terms of work so that is a good thing. Universe 1) I am grateful that I managed to find my way to the different office this morning even though I got on the wrong train. Yes, the wrong train. Completely stupid. 2) I am grateful that I managed to get everything sorted that needed sorting this morning. This is a big thing for an urgent project, not my role, but it is showing that I am willing to go above and beyond. 3) I am grateful that since I spent the morning at a different office, I was able to go to the center of the city on my way 'back' to the office past the alterations place to take in a pair of pants that are now too big, and to get a cupcake which I will enjoy shortly with a cup of tea. 4) I am grateful that I had a good day b

A quick entry today. It has been a very long and frustrating day but in the end things were accomplished. Universe 1) I am grateful for the fast train and the seat I got not long after I jumped on. 2) I am grateful for the amount of work I managed to get done by getting to work early. 3) I am grateful for the walk I managed to get in this morning. 4) I am grateful that the meeting we had today ended up achieving things. 5) I am grateful for the tea and crumpets I am having for dinner because I can! Blessings

I have been quite angry with the universe the last few days so it gave me some anger back. I had a crapper of a day with people not doing what they were supposed to which in turns makes me look bad until my manager backs me up, some fuck stick telling me I was wrong only to be told that I was right and then I let him have it. My poor boss came in at the end of it and I was fuming when he refused to sign a letter that he had signed before because it had the switch phone number and not his. He offered to scan it once he had signed it because he said he didn't want to get me in an even worse mood. Sure, I am angry at the universe for what happened this weekend. I have accomplished so much and yet it is like the universe is telling me not to get too cocky. Let me just slap you about the head just so you realise you aren't well and the disease still is in control. I am not sure how to be less angry at the universe except to thank it for some of the good things that happened today. F

This weekend has been a total right off and as such I am looking forward to work in the morning. Due to the additional meds to calm me down last night, I was totally spaced out today and incapable of doing anything. Needless to say, my house is a pigsty but it will have to wait until next weekend. Nightmares last night were far from a picnic. Having blackness around you and then really bright lights coming at you is not a great way to be woken up with a pounding heart catching what ever breath is there. Tonight is another night. I still haven't driven. I can't even think about getting in the car right now. Universe 1) I am grateful I didn't have to get up early this morning 2) I am grateful for the fresh bread roll with real butter and honey for breakfast enjoyed with a cup of tea. 3) I am grateful for the afternoon sleep I was able to enjoy. It has helped me get rid of some of the sleepiness. 4) I am grateful for special time with my niece and nephews while my sister