Dare2Diva is Grateful

Boy, there are some days when you feel like the life has been completely drained from you and today was one of those days. I woke up in immediate pain. My throat was burning like I had swallowed a cup full of razor blades. My thighs and shoulders felt like they were on fire, and they still do, which I know is a real return of PMR. PMR is an old lady disease which just thrills me to pieces and hurts like hell. It goes in and out of remission and I guess it felt like paying me a visit. Not only that was painful today but my head hurts. Not a migraine but it just feels like my brain has swollen and pushing against my skull and then there is my teeth that are aching. Anyway, no point complaining so I took my meds plus pain killers and moved to the couch which is where I have stayed most of the day. I dare not go outside for fear the Lollipop Guild from Munchkin Land would be outside my door to greet me. It was so bloody windy from early morning, which woke me up for a while, and although i

Another Friday arrived as it should when I woke up this morning an hour before my alarm thanks to my bladder. Yes, fantastic. Of course waking up and having to make my way to the loo and back again meant I couldn't go back to sleep for the hour, but, it was a Friday. Friday's seem to come and when they do, we are all 'Oh thank fuck' or 'Oh wow, I am so glad Friday is here', like it is a shock that it is Friday because it may or may not come around. I mean, it is quite possible that we will go to bed on Thursday night and it will be Saturday when we wake up. Today was a good Friday actually. I had a 90min meeting and I was praised and thanked for my outstanding skills and effort for 2 projects I am running and because I got a coffee after I logged on this morning (yes, the rort of signing in, logging on and going for coffee without having done any work) by the time my meeting finished, it was lunch time, and I got back in time for another meeting for 30mins, then

The impossible is possible. The Chilean miners who were given up for dead, found, and it wasn't thought they could be rescued anytime before Christmas are now home with their families. Nobody thought it would be possible for these miners to be alive let alone be rescued and home to spend Christmas with their families. It is proof of how strong the human spirit can be. These men have survived. I find that remarkable. Anything is possible Universe 1) I am grateful that the Chilean miners are now with family. I am also grateful that I have taken away the message that anything is possible. 2) I am grateful for the amazing weather we had today. 3) I am grateful for the walk I went on and the fact I didn't feel affected by the heat. 4) I am grateful for the innocent banter with Irish. It is going to be great working in the building across the road. I can see our firs coffee 'date' lol, could turn into regular catch ups. It is nice to have somebody at work that you conne

I have had a shocker of a day today. It has been one of those days where I want to cry but I am worried that if I start, I won't be able to stop. Somebody really pissed me off today with their fucking ignorant mightier than though attitude about these kids that have been ending their lives because the bullying has become too much. He says that they need to toughen up and confront their bullies and get over it. Fuck it makes me mad. These kids get bullied to the point where they end up with a mental ILLNESS. Cancer kills people and you don't tell them to pull your socks up and get over it, and mental illness kills people. No difference. I know for me that the 'thoughts' are not very far away and can crop up anytime I am vulnerable and those thoughts are caused by the illness and not by me being weak. So that had me in a bad mood, but the crying thing was something I woke up with. I forgot to take my meds, which just happens to be the big dose, this morning but I know tha

I love a morning waking up to 'I say a little prayer for you' - The moment I wake up. I was so exhausted after yet another restless nights sleep (gym bad just before bed) and I had to get up earlier than usual so, with the song playing, I got out of bed without thinking and headed to the shower. I had a another weird day work wise. I achieved so much and yet I can't remember actually putting in much effort. Perhaps it is becoming second nature to me now. I also enjoyed a question posed by a guy I went to school with who is now a pastor. What is joy? I thought about this quite a bit because just the word sends a comforting warmth through me. I have decided that joy is happiness that is accompanied by an all encompassing calm, peace and warmth. I guess the Christians would call that calm, peace and warmth the love of God or becoming closer to God. I call it a hug from the universe that makes me smile. I think happiness by itself is usually accompanied by thoughts be they nega

Why is it, when I manage to do something good, I question myself? As I have mentioned, I am at the gym now. I went last night and went like the clappers and did 3km's in 45mins. Well, I was so incredibly sore last night and I couldn't sleep due to pain and also a feeling of euphoria. I started questioning whether this was going to turn into a manic thing. Well, today I have been full of energy and more chatty and giggly than usual and I go to the gym again tonight and push myself to do 3km's in 40mins so I did an additional 5mins to make up the 45mins, and that is in addition to the 45min stroll I did during my lunch break! I now feel hyperactive and in amongst this good feeling, I am feeling slightly concerned that I may be headed for mania and then, a mania is followed by a depressive slide and then how bad will it be. I just want to be normal. I want to be able to do things without questioning every good or bad feeling. Now I also feel like crap because there are many pe

What a weird yet good kind of day. I woke up around 6am and it was pouring so, after dash for a pee, I snuggled back into bed and fell back to sleep. I woke up again around 10am and it was a little showery with the sun fighting to come through. 30mins later and the rain was gone and the sun came out along with a slight breeze. Mrs Chu's Chinese laundry began and I had baskets and baskets of the stuff. I was down to my 'sexy underwear' because it has been way too rainy to do washing. Trust me when I say my arse is thanking the weather right now. I have come back from the gym after doing 3km's in 45mins (around 1.86miles) and doing that in a lacy G-string/thong really would have been uncomfortable to say the least. I actually feel really good. Again, I challenge myself to go faster for longer. I set my speed to warm up, then go to an almost run for a min then back then up again for 2mins etc. I was really thrilled I managed to do that tonight. Universe 1) I am grateful