Dare2Diva is Grateful

Wow, did I have a huge sleep last night. I went off to the psychologist today and I don't really think I got anywhere apart from having a bitch session. Then it was a little trip to the craft store to purchase wool for my 2 wraps that I plan on making. My niece threw her toys out of the pram and decided to walk to my place so I have had some company. I am looking forward to another great nights sleep followed by a day of cleaning and organisation. Universe 1) I am grateful for the amazing sleep I had today 2) I am grateful I didn't have such a traumatic session with the psychologist today 3) I am grateful that I had some peace and quiet to enjoy myself in the craft store 4) I am grateful I am feeling quite excited about my crafting time. 5) I am grateful I am able to have another good nights sleep in preparation for the massive cleaning attack I am doing on this house tomorrow. Blessings

Another sleep in day today but do I care? Not in the slightest, particularly when the universe was making it up to me after last nights ride home. I was at work on time which was great. I really can't complain about today. I had an extra long lunch break and got a foot, neck and shoulder massage which was heaven. I had a great coffee this morning, an awesome lunch of chicken and 5 veg quesadilla which was amazing. Another great trip home and then the news of an earth quake and tsunami in Japan. The universe is mighty pissed at the moment. Universe 1) I a grateful I got a sleep in this morning 2) I am grateful the universe was on my side to and from work today 3) I am grateful for my amazing massage today. 4) I am grateful that I am safe here. No Earth quakes or tsunamis to worry about for us in the western suburbs of Sydney. 5) I am grateful I feel quite relaxed about everything at the moment. I don't know if it is relaxed or if it is just apathetic but either way, it is

Additional meds meant I needed to sleep a lot longer. It was great until I realised I was late for a meeting. I should have stayed at home. one of the blokes was a complete arse hole and after he stormed out of the room and slammed the door, I told his colleagues that it was unacceptable behaviour and he was not to return to the premises. I am proud that I coped so well. I was beyond calm (thanks to sedatives) and I was really professional about it. My day went ok from there until I left work and 2 major traffic accidents meant it took me an additional 90mins to get home. During that drive I had to distract myself from the number plates (because they tend to send me messages as fucked up as that sounds) so I started think that I should just go off meds and see where it takes me. I am not stable now and yet I know it and I know that I am not rational and i know that the messages I get are insane but frankly I don't want to know. I want to be blissfully insane. This awareness is real

Every part of my being aches today. Let me re-phrase. Every part of my physical being aches. My psychological being doesn't ache yet the physical pain and total empty feeling tells me otherwise. I saw my GP today but because of traffic I got to him late and that just made me feel guilty because I was his last patient before he headed home. I spoke to my GM today about my nuttiness and he was good. The only issue is making sure I don't get suspended for a positive drug test which could happen even though the drugs are legal. He is going to sort that. I know that I am clinging on by a thread and just when I felt myself slipping further I got a message from one of my fav 'yet to met' friends from the US and it just brightened my day. I still can't believe that anyone would bother doing that but he knew I was struggling. There are a couple of 'yet to meet' friends that I feel a real connection with. Universe 1) I am grateful I got out of bed and ignored my pa

Not impressed at all at the moment so..... Universe 1) I am grateful I woke up put my feet on the ground, got my arse out of bed and started my day. 2) I am grateful I was the first person in my work area this morning. 3) I am grateful my boss wasn't too weird this morning in his dealings with me. 4) I am grateful I got to my teaching assignment early so I could get home early 5) I am grateful I found a nice pair of glasses and ordered them today. I only wear glasses when my eyes need a break or in the late evening when I take them out but still they are really nice frames Blessings

I did it. I finally told my boss about my bipolar and I already regret it. OK, he doesn't even know what it is but when i started to explain he got all weird. Fuck, I only did it because I do't want to lose my job and if they know about it they can't fire me because of it. I need to get away from everything and hide. I really want to stop the fight between reality and my reality and just let myself fall into my reality. It really is getting too hard and exhausting. Everything hurts. My head, my eyes, my body hurts. Everything is so much of an effort and while I know I have it easy and there are people that are dealing with a lot more than what I am, it doesn't help me. To complicate things further, I am not depressed. If I was crying all the time and in the depths of despair then I guess I could understand that but apart from the exhaustion and the feeling of not being able or wanting to cope anymore, I feel great. I have to admit that I am struggling with todays entry

I honestly don't know where the day went. I do know that I had a huge sleep so that took my morning away. I took a while to wake up so that took mid afternoon, my sister came around and that took late afternoon and then dinner...ok. I know where the day went and I did fuck all with it. I have wasted a day and I am sick of doing so. I just don't know how to change. I think I might take myself off to the drive-ins this week. At least you don't feel so pathetic going to a drive-in alone and it is hard to freak out about a lack of impulse control when you are in your own car! Universe 1) I am grateful for the long sleep I had last night 2) I am grateful I didn't have to do anything today. It makes me feel less guilty about not doing anything to enhance my life today. 3) I am grateful for the drop in from my sister to break up my day 4) I am grateful for the banter I have had again day with Facebook friends. Facebook allows me some outside contact with a feeling of saf