Dare2Diva is Grateful

A bit annoyed with Blogger because twice this week the site has been down so I couldn't blog. Yesterday was pretty uneventful. I am just over everything. I went to my psychologist this morning and after her trying to convince me that I am in control and that I will be fine, she tells me that she is leaving the practice. Brilliant. Just when I start to dump all of my shit onto somebody and she is the only one that knows 1 really serious incident and then her and a cop know everything about another. I just want this to be over. I can't do this any more. I can't keep fighting. I don't want to keep fighting. I want to give in and let it take over. If it was just me I would but because I am relied upon by my family I keep fighting. I sure as hell don't keep fighting for me. I don't care abbot me. I am too tired to care about me. Universe 1) I am grateful I managed to get through yesterday pretty well unscathed. 2) I am grateful that when I woke up at 5am and had

Hump day and thank the stars. Today started off like any other day from the past few weeks and then boss man told me that he wasn't going to be in the office that afternoon or tomorrow and he wanted to know if he could trust me to be left alone and that he had somebody keeping an eye on me. He got a death stare from hell and he quickly said 'i'm only joking' but he still had somebody checking up on me and spending a lot of time in my work area. Anyway, teaching tonight so the long day is in the middle of the week which works well. I am completely buggered now but only 2 days until the weekend. Universe 1) I am grateful I decided to laze in my warm bed this morning 2) I am grateful for the new shampoo and conditioner I purchased. I know this sounds pathetic and vain but my hair is looking amazing. I have a slight curl without frizz which I haven't been able to achieve unless it has been styled. All I do is wash condition and finger comb. Done and it looks amazing

Yes, I missed yesterday's post but it wasn't intentional. The blogger site was down so I was unable post. I was quite annoyed that I was made to break my habit of 5 things to be grateful for but in another way, I was relieved. I had a crap day yesterday with my boss saying my behaviour was inappropriate (yes I know and while I hate using this bipolar thing as an excuse, I was out of control and I honestly couldn't help it), he wanted a mediation between me and brudy ridicurus woman (I said, if I hadn't lost my mind would we be talking about mediation to which he said no. I said that it appears that I am being made out to be the bad guy when her behaviour, which I have complained about before, s excused because she is like that to everyone yet my behaviour isn't even though I have a legitimate medical condition which made my actions out of my control. He said he wasn't going to discuss who was right or wrong so I said I wouldn't participate in mediation), and

Today was mothers day. I feel absolutely horrible and cold hearted but i didn't really feel anything today. I didn't miss my mum, I didn't feel sad when I saw her photo even though I posted it on my Facebook page, I didn't feel sad seeing others posting about their mums. I felt nothing. This is how I am feeling right now. I don't feel connected to people unless they are in front of me and that scares me. Does this mean that I really don't have feelings towards others and I just feed off others like a parasite and does it mean I am really cold hearted after all? I am not liking me at the moment at all. I want to stop complaining about my life or lack there of but there is nothing to replace the complaining with. Universe 1) I am grateful for the sunshine today 2) I am grateful for the sleep in I had after a restless night again 3) I am grateful for the epic sleep I had at midday and didn't wake up for another 4 hrs. I really needed it. 4) I am grateful