Dare2Diva is Grateful

I slept in!!!! That is the most exciting thing that has happened in ages. I had a 13hr sleep and when I say sleep I mean, I don't remember my head hitting the pillow and I woke up 13hrs later. No waking up every 2hrs, no tossing and turning to get to sleep, no waking up at 4am and dosing until I get out of bed. It was amazing. I still feel like I need a bit more sleep but I now realise that although I haven't had my traditional version of insomnia, as in, not sleeping or getting only 3hrs sleep, I have moved from that to sleep difficulties, and it is no wonder I feel drained in every way. I did take a couple of sleeping tablets but up until last night, they really haven't helped except with the getting to sleep part. Universe 1) I am grateful for the AMAZING sleep I had last night. Thank you for allowing me to recharge my batteries so well. if it isn't too bold of me to ask, do you think I could get another sleep like that tonight as well? 2) I am grateful for my ea

The past 2 days have been the busiest and because of that, the most stressful for me in a long while. I can't believe how draining being in public can be, and then being in amongst a couple of people, and the center of attention. I used to thrive on being center stage but at the moment, I just want to fade into the back ground. Oh well, I am looking at days like this and thinking that I have to experience some of what my previous life used to be like so I don't forget. I loved my previous life. Life before medication, life before needing shares in kleenex, life before the fuzzies, life before headaches and general pain became the norm, life before unpredictability and life before puffy eyes and shaking limbs. I know I will never get back to the life I had and I don't want to. I am concentrating on me now, not then or there but now, although I do know that I will get to a place that is just the right mix for me, but I will keep working on today until.... Universe 1) I am

I have to say I am shocked that it is Thursday. I feel like the last few days have all smashed up into 1. Even though I knew it was Thursday this morning (thanks Mr Pill), I had to check tonight before writing this. I have had a big day and that has been a bit unsettling but they say you have to try and get back on the horse and if it kicks while you try, go back another day. Universe 1) I am grateful that it didn't rain today. I know we need rain, but it would have made todays outing that much harder. 2) I am grateful that I was able to get on the train and go into the city today. That is a big step for me. I am not afraid of crowds or being outside, it is just the fear of freaking out in public, but today, I didn't so that is a big yay for me. 3) I am grateful for coffee. Tea is a wonderful comforter when I am home, but a cup of coffee in a quiet corner in the city brings a sense of familiarity to an unfamiliar situation. The smell of coffee reminds me of Sunday mornings

After yesterdays 'thesis', I don't have much to say today, but still, there are things to be grateful for. Universe 1) I am grateful that today hasn't been as cold as the last few days. 2) I am grateful that the sun popped out long enough for me to get my washing dry. I hate using the clothes dryer. Somehow, the clothes just don't feel clean. 3) I am grateful that things in a few ways are really looking up. There are some positive things happening and I just know that there are more to follow. 4) I forgot to mention a couple of days ago that I am grateful for a very dear friend who offered me a wonderful surprise. Sadly, I wasn't able to accept due to my unpredictable 'freak outs' but it was so wonderful of her to offer and to be understanding and accepting of the reason behind my decline. 5) I am grateful that I have taken my acrylic nails off. They were so badly in need of an infill and major tidy up because I hadn't wanted to spend the mone

Teaching day again. A huge blessing goes to teaching day. I get the opportunity to have me time in the car. I end up think A LOT during this time but because I have teaching to either look forward to on the way there or excited about the lesson on the way back, it is usually a positive experience. I am not sure if you would call todays thought positive or not, but they haven't left a deep gaping wound in my heart or head so it can't have been all that bad. I have realised that I keep asking myself what I have done to deserve to feel like crap, and I can usually come up with a multitude of answers. I then have to ask myself do I deserve to be happy? The light bulb lit up. How bloody stupid. I can justify why I should be depressed and yet I can't think of any reason why I deserve happiness? That got me thinking. Why should I deserve to be happy? Isn't happiness a birth right remembering my previous revelation that happiness isn't the absence of sadness but mealy a br

I will admit it. I lost the plot big time late last night. I have just felt that things have become much bigger than me and I am doing my best to cope. Universe, as much as I appreciate and love you, you need to back off for a while. I am being over educated with the lessons you are trying to teach me and to be honest, I am not able or willing to learn anymore just at this moment. I put my hand up to say, I need a break from all this. I have to admit, I have better clarity today after taking a sedative, sleeping tablet and pain killers last night. A good sleep can help things a great deal. It doesn't fix things but it helps. Universe 1) I am grateful for the restorative sleep last night. After a meltdown, there is nothing worse than being awake all night churning it over, so I guess I should also be grateful for the tablets that helped me get that sleep. 2) I am grateful for some wonderful people in my life that teach me 2 things. I am not alone, and I am not alone. Yes the sam

I seem to have a cold that isn't taking hold but just hanging around enough to be annoying. I have had a pretty good day, although quite, so there has been quite a bit to be grateful for. Universe 1) I am grateful that I had the foresight to purchase the extra soft aloe vera tissues when they were on sale. My nose and I are very grateful. 2) I am grateful that asthma doesn't seem to have taken hold at the moment. I had a very annoying wheezy cough last night and I am grateful it didn't stick around. I would be very grateful if I didn't have a repeat of last years asthma followed by pneumonia then with the addition of asthma again. 3) I am grateful for the kindy kip (new name for nana nap but less aging) that I had this afternoon. I needed to curl up in a warm bed and have an extra hour or so of sleep. I felt much better after that. 4) I am grateful that I am blessed with the ability to cook, although my waistline isn't so grateful. I have made baked ricotta an